Its a beautiful Sunday here in London. The sun is shining and its warm. I'm oddly energetic. My arm is SO much better and almost at normal use. Its been amazing.

I am a trained therapist and one of the therapies I am trained in is EFT (emotional freedom technique www.emofree.com ) which involves tapping on meridian points on the face and body. After I had chemo a few weeks ago, I was told to watch for signs of a fever and ideally not to take paracetamol as it would mask a fever. I was still in pain but was willing to persevere. The pain was awful and so I thought I would practice what I preach and try some eft for the pain. I did a few minutes of tapping (literally no more than about 5 minutes). It didn't do the trick immediately although if I had stuck with it after those initial 5 min, I don't doubt it would have. It has renewed my faith in my chosen field. Not that I had ever lost faith in the methods, but perhaps in myself.

Which brings me on to a subject I have been thinking a lot about. Why the hell am I sick. There is no history of any kind of cancer in my family and I am a fairly healthy eater and I am wary of chemicals in my environment and won't use any harsh cleaning products etc.

I was reading a book (Anatomy of the spirit by Caroline Myss, phd) which suggests that our physical conditions are a result of our emotional states and that sickness demonstrates a lack of power in certain areas of our lives.

The more I think about this, the more sense it makes to me and the more I can relate to its truth. There are areas in my life that recently (over the past 2 years or so) I have been aware of a distinct lack of power. I need to address these areas if I am to heal and stay healthy. Its that elusive balance that I keep harping on about, which is so very important in the grand scheme of things.

The process starts here and now and I will take control. By relinquishing ultimate control to the powers that be, I will be able to free up my own resources to heal and work on those areas that need attention so desperately. I hereby begin my journey.