Hello everyone,
I’ve been off the radar for quite sometime but am thinking about writing a book so was just reviewing some of my blog when I had this sudden urge to write. I have missed you all quite a lot:-)
Life is, well life really. I am living day to day, pretty much as I always have; I just have more hair this year. I have spent a lot of time last year coming to terms with what had happened to me and just dealing with the anger and fear that took over with my diagnosis. I have dealt with a lot of emotional baggage that I have been carrying around for most of my life and the whole process has been cathartic. I feel as though I am still in the emergence stage, a bit like coming out of a cocoon. I have done a lot of necessary house work and although I still feel I have some work to do, I am emerging, a new person, and I like her a lot more than I did the one that stepped into that cocoon in 2007.
It is important to me that the people closest to me learn to trust in me again. Perhaps trust is not the right word. Let me try to explain. I think that my diagnosis put a lot of pressure onto those closest to me. Suddenly I was not able to contribute as I always had, on so many levels. I was out of 'circulation' all year in 2007 due to treatment and then dealing with the effects of the treatment and the emotional rollercoaster and the 'causes' took up the whole of 2008. My family thought they were getting me back last year and I wasn't able to be there for them. It has been hard on all of us but I am emerging from this madness and ready to embrace life.
One thing I have realised is that life is short and there is no time to be unhappy, or stuck doing something you don't feel good about. Make those moves, take those chances and grab life with both hands. There is no time for regret.
